A Sinful Inner Desire SEQUEL
by KuroNoKiseki
Summary: The awaited sequel for A Sinful Inner Desire. In order to repent all of his previous unforgivable sins, Akihiko took full responsibility of taking care of the broken Misaki, both physically and mentally. He must bravely face all of the challenges along the way in order to protect Misaki, at the same time renewing their relationship for happier life. Title changed for no reason. LOL
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I stared on myself at the mirror when I was adjusting my necktie with upmost care. I made sure everything concerning my physical appearance was just right. My tie was not crooked. Check. My hair was neatly combed. Check. All of the buttons were correctly at their respective corresponding holes. Check. Everything was perfect, but something was missing.

I look great, but I lacked only one thing that could ruin everything.

A smile.

A sincere, happy smile.

What I saw in myself was now a face with no emotion whatsoever, as if a living mannequin.

I am now not able to smile like before.

Now, my source of happiness…

…

"Oi, Akihiko!"

The castles in the air that I was having had disappeared and knocked me back to reality.

Isaka's voice echoed throughout my room.

"What took you so long?"

"Wait a sec, I'm still…"

"Get your damn ass quickly out here! They're all tired of waiting!"

I glared over him. He was shocked.

My cold stare as if had pierced through him, that I could saw his expression had been overwhelmed with fear.

He scurried out from the room at the speed of lightning.

Geez…

I always hated this kind of thing.

…

"Sorry for the wait…"

Today was another day where one of my writings had newly received an award.

I had to throw away my former persona for temporarily.

I needed to act like a professional.

My faked smile flashed brightly in the darkened hall.

All of the women swooned and squealed loudly. How noisy and irritating.

Another thing that irked me – tons of cameras flickered around me.

Were they trying to blind me or what?

"First of all, I would like to thank everybody for the endless support…"

Yeah right.

"…that my latest work had been another success…"

Because it's purely my effort.

My latest book, _His Smile Never Fade _had now became one of my most successful work.

I received many praises and credits for that single book.

Everyone said, _"It is truly a masterpiece, Usami-sensei! You're a genius!"_

So funny.

I thought I would never write ever again.

They also said, _"I cried a lot on every chapter!"_

How hilarious of that.

To think that I could make people cry.

I thought my heart had frozen a long time ago.

…

I'm finally free from that mind-torturing ceremony which I hated so much.

I hated social ocassions.

I immediately fled after it was over, though Isaka said there were more important things for me to do.

Isaka was not amused, he said he wanted to kill me.

Who cares about that?

He won't able to do that.

I'm the one who had been feeding them all with money and fame.

If I died, then what would happen to the company?

I had a _more_ crucial matter to do that any other problems were nothing compared to it.

Nevertheless, I drove my car and parked at a nearby flower store.

I pushed the door as I entered the store, producing a clanking sound of a bell.

"Irashai…"

The blue-haired florist raised his chin up when he was arranging some flowers at the counter.

I knew him. So did he.

He detested me.

"May I help you?"

I can saw his look changed, but still able to calm himself down and staying polite. He did not want to lose a customer.

"As usual."

He knew what he had to do.

Everytime I came here, I would buy fresh flowers with fragrant smell – with different type of flowers each time.

"Wait a sec."

He wandered in the store and returned with a bunch of fresh gardenia in his arms. Its sweet aroma spread around the store.

He thanked me once I paid for the flowers, then walked out from the store.

My next destination – the hospital.

…

Everything were white. The walls, the ceilings, the floors, the curtains, the wards, the beds…

I'm sick of all these whiteness.

My head gonna explode from the scent of medicines.

I took the elevator, walked through the hall, arrived in front of the door.

Room 251.

It's the same room all over again.

I turned the knob and entered inside.

What I found in the room was the same thing.

Strangely, this was the only thing that I wasn't bored of.

I threw away the wilted flowers from the vase into the nearest waste bin and replaced them with the fresh gardenia.

I took a chair, sat myself down next to the bed.

The longer I was in this room, my heart defrosted little by little.

"Missed me?"

He was sleeping.

I stroked his hair.

I had been in this room so often, yet I am not able to get used to it.

I kissed his forehead lovingly.

My eyes slowly began to bear some fruits, then fell down my eyes drip by drip.

I could not stop my sobs.

I could not hold it anymore.

Whenever I came to this room, I will cry bitterly.

This room – was the last place that I wanted to go.

His fragile form lying on the bed so serenely, oxygen mask strapped to his face to aid his breathing.

Nonetheless, he still looked so beautiful that it was so sad.

How could I stop myself from crying?

He was my only source of happiness.

My latest work, _His Smile Never Fade _was none of my fantasy.

It's all about him. His biography. A novel about his life.

His childhood, his family, his life as a college student, his forbidden love.

And the horrible climax of the story – he went through physical and sexual abuse for months – from his own lover. The man that he _loved _so much.

Full of tragedy.

The worst of all, even to me – that I left the story ended with a cliffhanger. He fell into a deep coma, and nobody knew whether he will survive or not. Most readers speculated that he died in the end of the story.

I was told, it was the saddest and the most heart-wrenching thing I had ever wrote.

I could not agree more.

This could be a nightmare.

I want to wake up. But I can't.

There was a huge aura of death had surrounded him. Even the doctors doubted on how long he could go on.

No… I don't want him to die…

I could not forgive myself for everything that I had done.

I'm the one who caused him to be like this.

Unable to control myself anymore, I buried myself into his neck and cried. Cried as hard as I could as if that would make a change.

"Please… I'm begging you, you may punish me as severe as you want… you may hate me as much as you want… It's okay for you to not forgive me at all, but…"

My hand clutched his hospital clothing tighter.

"Please wake up! Let me see you healthy and kicking once again! Let me taste your cooking once again! Let me hear you scolding me once again! Let me see you smile once again! Don't you realize how miserable my life had been without you?"

He had been sleeping for three years straight.

My life had been meaningless without him.

"Please, open your eyes…"

How could I not be sad?

"Misaki…"

**Yay I'm now free! No more exams! No more school! :D I can write whenever I wanted, yaaaaayy~! xD Oh, excuse me for my lazy style of writing… Most importantly, no more stress! *imitates Elsa from the movie Frozen* I'm freeee~! Let it goooo~! LET IT GOOOOO~!**

**P.S. Don't insult Akihiko. Poor him D:**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The beeping sounds of the machine that I was unfamiliar with resonated nonstop across the room. I thought for a moment, were they louder than my sobs? I wished so. Because I don't like when other people saw or even noticed that I was crying. Apart from Misaki. But now I was confused, did I even cared about that from the start? Misaki had been here for three years. For the whole three years, I _never _been in this room without shedding a single tear. People said that men will abandon their pride and ego when it came to their loved ones.

Enough with the crying. I dabbed eyes with my sleeves, that they were now bloodshot. I planned something risky – I made sure that nobody was in the room other than me and Misaki. I removed the oxygen mask from his face, lowered myself down – kissing him. I always missed his kisses. Misaki didn't noticed that he was actually quite a good kisser, yet I'm not sure whether he would appreciate the compliment.

My lips were bearing with the pain of being pierced by his dry ones. I immediately pulled myself away from the kiss – in order to stop myself from suffocating him. I wiped his mouth first from my own drools, then wiped mine. I carefully lifted his head, strapped the oxygen mask back to its rightful place. Yet I'm still not satisfied. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks and his eyes. As a sign of my departure, I kissed his hand.

_SNAP._

The sound of a camera taking a picture. I hated that sound. Who made it? It must be her, that annoying doctor who was in charge of Misaki – voluntarily. I turned my head to the source of that irritating sound and found the culprit. I knew it. It was that doctor! How could she had sneaked in here without me finding out? Or I'm the one who had been carried away by all the kissing ritual? I caught her giggling like a bunch of hyenas dilly-dallying around.

_Dr Murakami Naoto._

That was what her name tag read. I began to sense a certain pattern that happened everytime I visited Misaki. First, me buying fresh flowers with fragrance. Second, me crying my eyeballs out. Third, me kissing Misaki like some perverted psycho over his dead girlfriend. And last and the least, losing my precious sanity by facing this damn witch. Dammit. There were like, hundreds of other patients in this hospital yet the only one that this physician ever wanted was Misaki.

"Whoopsie… I just cannot stop myself whenever I saw people kissing," said Dr Murakami, hiding the camera behind her slender form. "''Scuse me for that, hon!"

The doctor who was in her mid thirties, dark eyes beneath her round specs and long dark hair tied into a ponytail. Dressing in her long white lab coat unbuttoned with white blouse, and that white knee-length miniskirt that would usually cause the mouth-watering phenomenon among men. But not for me. I lost my interest towards women a long time ago. In my opinion, they're all freaky. Even though my beloved one was almost a girl in terms of appearance and personality.

"Don't forget that you're a part of this," I bitterly spoke.

"Aki-kun," her expression shifted into a more serious but calm exterior, "Don't put the blame on someone else for your very terrible mistake…"

I averted my gaze away, still remained myself sitting beside the bed. I met this woman a long time ago, that was when I was a child. She was having the same age as my stepbrother. During that time, she was Sasaki – her maiden name. She was lost, so I showed the way. In grattitude, she gave me a strange medicine – said that it would grant my wishes. So I drank that thing. My wish does came true – but in a horrible way.

"What the hell with that medicine, anyway?" I couldn't help myself but asked her out of puzzlement.

Dr Murakami sat on the bed, her hand stroked Misaki's hair. She was emotionless. I felt that it really suited her, since she said that her parents were mad scientists who created the medicine. I doubted that she could had done anything unthinkable to my dear Misaki while I was gone. But what could it be? There was zero possibility that she would _rape_ Misaki. It's not because I don't want it, but it's just seemed so… illogical.

"Do you know that the human brain cannot disinguish between your ideals and the reality? So it will work hard so that it can change those ideals into reality. In other words, the _law of attraction._" She explained, her tone correctly matched a true doctor's while speaking, being professional.

I could get the point here a little bit, but that was still not enough. There were things that I don't understand. "And what that have to do with the medicine?"

"The medicine is actually a type of stimulant, just like steroids," the motion of her hand suddenly came into a halt. "…but the difference is, it stimulates your pitituary gland so that more hormone can be secreted…"

She mysteriously smirked. "Especially, adrenaline." She jumped from the bed, walked towards me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Don't forget how powerful your brain is over the rest of your body. The medicine will act according to what your brain had commanded your body to do. It's very long lasting, ya know… Untill your wish is fulfilled."

I gulped. Now, a series of unwanted memories flashed in my mind as if a video clip. All of them containing my sins over Misaki. Now I got it… How could I lost my temper so easily. How could I hurted Misaki without mercy. How could my evil desires took over me that this whole thing happened. I gripped on the bedsheets, unable to calm myself down.

"What had passed is the past, and everybody do mistakes." She attempted to console me. Giving me a thumbs up, she encouraged, "the fact you cannot change the past doesn't mean that you cannot earn yourself a happier future…"

…

_"Misaki, you shouldn't force me on eating these bell peppers…"_

_"Ha? Why not? Bell peppers are good for you!"_

_"I don't think so."_

_"Why is it?"_

_"You know, I heard that there're somebody who loves to eat bell peppers so much. It is said that everyday he wanted bell peppers to be included in his meal."_

_"Well that's good, Usagi-san!"_

_"But shortly after that, he died."_

_"Eeeehhh? Really? Is that true?"_

_"Yeah, because he was involved in a car accident."_

_"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BELL PEPPERS?! YOU BAKA USAGI!"_

I smiled as I was reminded of the old days where Misaki was being like a mother, with all of his naggings. We bickered a lot. There were times where both of us barely talked to each other for several days after that, but we will eventually reconciled. Sometimes, one of us will apologize. But mostly it was him who asked for forgiveness from me. Tears slowly dripped again, proving how much I missed him. It hurts so much to think that I loved him more than anyone else in this cruel world.

Several weeks had passed. Today I visited him again in the hospital as usual while bringing a bunch of fresh Baby Romantica altogether with me. In front of the same room once again, Room 251. I turned on the knob and opened the door. I was determined to do the same thing over and over until the day where Misaki had woken up had came, which I was really eager for. The good news, Dr Murakami informed me that his wounds are all completely healed. All I need to do now was waiting for him to wake up.

"Good morning, Misa-"

Once I stepped inside the room, I was utterly shocked. I lost grip of the flowers, it fell on the floor. I stared in disbelief. I couldn't believe with what I was currently seeing. Were my eyes played some tricks with me? Or I was just dreaming? I involuntarily fell on my knees. The beeping sounds of the unknown machine were finally gone.

"Misaki?"

He was no longer wearing an oxygen mask. His arm was no longer connected to an IV. He was no longer lying on the bed. Instead, he was sitting on it. His eyes were no longer closed. It was now opened. He was staring to the nearest window. He had woken up at last.

"Misaki!"

I was purely overjoyed. I pulled him into a tight embrace. I hugged him with all might, showing how much I loved him. He doesn't return the hug, but I don't care. I cupped his face in my hands and gazed into his emerald orbs intently.

"Ohh Misaki… Thank goodness…"

But I began to notice something wrong. I thought Misaki would either being happy as much as I am now, feeling alarmed of my presence, or even punch me and tell how much of an idiot I am. But neither of them happened. Instead, he gave me an unpredictable response. He stared over me in wonder cluelessly as if I was a stranger to him. I was confused. What happened to you, Misaki?

Then Dr Murakami appeared at a sudden. "I'm really sorry Aki-kun, we're had really done our best for him, but now he didn't recognize you anymore."

I turned to her, "he had an amnesia?"

"No," she shook her head, then began to break down.

"Poor Misaki-chan had lost his sanity."

**~Omake~**

**Dr Murakami: KuroNoKiseki said that she was tired, so she asked me to take over the AN for her. Yoroshiku everyone!**

**Hiroki: Aren't you and the writer the same person?!**

**Dr Murakami: No, I'm her OC. xD**

**Shinobu: That doesn't make a difference…**

**Dr Murakami: Nailed it. xP**

**Miyagi: So what is your significance to the story? Are you here just to be another bitch who ruin the relationship between Akihiko and Misaki?**

**Dr Murakami: No! D: Oh by the way, dear readers, thanks for reading! Sorry if everything's too fast for the time being!**

**Nowaki: How could you to not including me in the omake T_T**

**Dr Murakami: You slowpoke ._.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"You've gotta be kidding me…"

The spiteful truth that she had told me in mention of my precious Misaki doesn't make sense to me, utterly unbelievable. Misaki had lost his sanity? That was totally nonsense! I don't want to believe it as that would be too much to me to accept it if it was real. Dr Murakami stopped crying and adjusted her glasses at her face, glared at me seriously to prove that she wasn't kidding. But still I stubbornly refused to buy any of it, since that I expected to be in my normal life again once Misaki had woken up. I don't want to be involved in those horrible episodes of despair once again – I don't want to shed any single tear anymore.

I admit that I am the one to blame and deserved to be punised but I want the punishments were only by Misaki – not by the cruel hands of fate.

"Misaki…" I faced him, held him at the shoulders. "You are my Misaki, right?"

No response from him.

"This is me, your Usagi-san… Don't you recognize me?"

Like a breathing doll, he stared at me continously in oblivion. He clearly didn't understand what I had just said nor anything around him at all. I began to feel unpleasant. I felt like he was now nothing but an empty shell – having no feelings nor a soul in him. I cupped his face in my hands and observed him, questioning whether he was still the Misaki that I knew or not. I suddenly had a dreadful feeling coming up in my chest that I began to sweat all over, goosebumps started to appear on my skin and my hands shook by its own. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs in agony, unable to fit myself in the reality to brave through this kind of misery.

"Misaki? Misaki, please don't be like this… Misaki… MISAKI!"

I finally snapped, cannot hold it anymore. "You are not Misaki, right?!" I roughly shook him at the shoulders that his head ended up bobbing back and forth. "Where is the real Misaki?! Where is he?! ANSWER ME!"

"Aki-kun, calm down!" Dr Murakami charged herself towards me.

"You told me to calm down?! It's because of you doctors and nurses aren't doing your job well that everything turned out like this!" I roared that the other patients from nearby wards could hear me yelling.

"And who the hell are you?! Why are you impersonating Misaki?! There's no way you could be like him!"

Dr Murakami was going to stop me from tormenting the clueless Misaki with countless questions, halted as someone entered the room. It was a man, he touched my shoulder, "Usami-sensei, please stop –" but immediately I cut him as I brushed his hand away without bothering to turn my head and see who it was.

"Where is my Misaki?! Why you don't answer me?! TELL ME!"

Seeing Misaki was still being silent and didn't answer any of my inquiries, my blood began to boil vigorously and I started to do something very stupid. I acted without thinking. "You are not Misaki!"

I raised up my hand in the air – slapped the insane Misaki so hard across the face with all might that he fell on his bed.

The stranger and Dr Murakami both stared in shock with their jaws open. After realizing what I had done I stared at my hand and my body went weak, I fell down to the floor on my knees. Why? Why did I hit him? That was really Misaki, the true Misaki. The real Takahashi Misaki that I have known and loved as if forever. Recalling back on what had happened three years ago it was logical that he would turn mad, heck it was considered miraculous for him to remain alive until this day. Why am I such an idiot for not thinking about any of it? Why I didn't believe what Dr Murakami had said and why am I acting like this?

"Why you little…"

The stranger charged towards me, grabbed my collar and punched the guts out of me. My cheek puffed red and blood trickled down my lips, I calmly dabbed with my thumb. Strangely the punch doesn't hurt at all, probably what hurted the most was the fact that I had hit Misaki – so hurt that I was at the verge of my tears. At the same time I managed to recognize the one who punched me – it was Ijuuin Kyou. One of my deadliest enemy who paid Misaki a visit in the hospital as often as I did. Even though I fierily hated this guy but I certainly needed to give him some credits as he was the one who snapped me out from the madness caused by Dr Murakami's wish-fulfilling drug and saved Misaki's life.

"Usami-sensei, I always thought that you are a very intelligent person beyond anyone out of there but I never expect you to behave so brainlessly like this! No matter what had happened before and now, Takahashi-kun still isn't the one to blame!"

The mangaka yanked me at the collar. "If you really wanted to hit someone then why don't you just hit me?! I'm also the root of all this problem right?! You can hit me but not Takahashi-kun!"

"Stop it, both of you. I said STOP." Dr Murakami interrupted both of us and pushed me and Ijuuin apart.

"This is a hospital, not a DAMN WRESTLING RING." She said with a sigh.

Ijuuin stood himself up. "Doctor, I'm taking Takahashi-kun with me."

There's no way in a thousand years I could allow that. "No, I'm taking him!"

"Are you sure?" Ijuuin threw a cold glare over me. "It's not fair. I held my feelings for him for such a long time and he should be mine now. I wouldn't hand him to anyone especially you."

"And why is that?" I held back my anger, I could've killed him if I wanted to.

"Why? Well the answer is obvious! You could hurt him once again! You're a devil in disguise of a human."

An electric jolt struck into me. I was rendered speechless, powerless… for temporary. I recalled the times during my childhood where my half brother had took everything that I treasured from me. Anything that could make me happy lost in a blink without I even knew it that left me alone trapped in the dark side of the world. And now I will not let the same thing repeated over and over again, I had enough of losing something that I held dear. Why is it? Why is that everytime I started to love something, someone will try to steal it from me? It was like more people were attracted to Misaki as time goes by. There's no way I'm giving Misaki away from me!

I bravely confronted Ijuuin without fear of anything that would happen to me. I said, "What about you? You were too delusional. Misaki was NEVER in love with you. He was in love with me. You're the one who started everything, yet you want to blame me? You only think about your feelings. You didn't think about Misaki's feelings at all. You forced him to return your feelings even though he had rejected you for many times already. You were too selfish."

Ijuuin was condemned into quietness. I saw him gulped, his eyes widened. He gazed down towards his shoes. But I there was still more from me. "You were too selfish that one day in the hotel, you betrayed his feelings. You stripped him naked by force and RAPED him. And that was not the end. You were well aware that Misaki and me are a couple but you ignored that and tried to break both of us apart. You even kissed him."

As I saw Ijuuin didn't give further reply, I turned to Dr Murakami and said, "I'm taking Misaki with me."

She tilted her head, then smiled. "Oh… Okay then. Well please wait until I come back." She left the room.

There's one more thing. "Admit it, Ijuuin-sensei. Misaki and I are in love. He's not in love with you but me. If you want a proof, me and Misaki had been married. He's completely mine now."

My Misaki was still sitting on the bed. I slowly approached him, but I hastily rushed to him after I was surprised to see him crying similar to a small child. Probably because I had slapped him? Shock, sympathy, guilty, sadness… All of those emotions mixed up deep in me that would left a scar in my heart in no time. I couldn't help but wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a hug, attempting to console him. I let my vest to be soaked by his tears as I had his face buried in my chest. I eventually cursed myself. How could I didn't notice that he was crying, all by himself sobbing so pitifully?

"Misaki… Is that slap really hurt? I'm sorry… I'm so sorry..."

I noticed that Misaki had changed a lot prior three years of comatose, both inside and outside. When I ran my hand at the back of his head I was late to notice that his hair had grown longer, the tips of his hair were no longer touching his shoulders – now it had reached his chest. It was hard for me to believe that now Misaki had long hair akin to what girls normally have. It would be difficult for others to tell what Misaki's gender that if I put him in a dress, then he would be fully transformed into a girl. I bit my mouth to hold myself from laughing, that would be rude to laugh when there was somebody crying at the same time.

I planted a kiss on Misaki's tear-streaked cheek where I had slapped before in hope that would soothe the pain away. During that I didn't notice that it was only two of us in the room. I kissed his eyelids, then continued on holding him in my arms. It seemed to be working as I noticed that he was crying softer and his sobs became quieter. I tightened the hug and stroked his hair. I bet that he had tired on being in this room for so long, it was finally the time for me to bring him home. I don't really care anymore. Sane or not, he was still Misaki. Thankfully God had given me the chance to atone my sins to Misaki. Back at home I will definitely give him the best treatment.

"There, there… I'm here. I love you, Misaki. I will always be by your side forever."

**Author's noomakeforyoulol Notes:**

**Hi everyone! How are you? xD I'm sorry if I kept you waiting for too long, haha… Currently I'm experiencing some emotional stress that I don't feel like writing anymore and I don't even know why. Perhaps it was caused by the harsh experience during the 2 years in boarding school? Don't worry, no matter how sad I am I will not do something stupid like commiting suicide or something like that :)**

**Though that was not only the reason as now I'm addicted in BL games. They were so fun! :DD I've finished playing DRAMAtical Murder and Zettai Fukujuu Meirei. At the moment I'm playing Animamundi, Togainu No Chi and Taishou Mebiusline. It was such a wonderful experience *w***

**P.S. If you want to review, then would you kindly give me some warm advices to write again? ): Now the emotional stress had caused my heart in the verge of breaking apart that I almost dumped this fic. (Thank God I didn't) I really need a hug right now Dx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Against the front door of the Takahashi household in Osaka, alone Misaki stood by himself – pressing the doorbell for multiple times and waited to be greeted. Yet the house was seemingly as quiet as the grave; almost certainly it was the shelter of nothingness and all left were the non-living obstacles. He waited and waited when his patience gauge was still not empty yet, crossing his arms and tapping a feet continuously on the tiled ground. Where could possibly Takahiro and his family be at this time? Today was Sunday, so there's no way his older brother had gone to work. Maybe they left the house and had a trip at somewhere for vacation – that would be impossible since Takahiro's the one who had invited him to come.

"Nii-chan, are you there?" called Misaki.

Manami, Takahiro's wife and Misaki's sister-in-law opened the door. "Misaki-kun! Sorry to keep you waiting," she wrapped her arms around Misaki and hugged him, whom she had loved greatly as if her own little brother.

Misaki returned the hug. "Is Nii-chan at home right now, Nee-chan?"

"Well he went to the convenience store to buy some wine and he should be back soon. Let's get inside, shall we?"

Misaki came into the house as Manami had told him to, taking off his shoes. His little nephew Mahiro came to him running and tackled him. "MIIIIII-CHAAAAAAN…!"

"GRAAHH! Mahiro-kun that hurts…"

Rubbing his stomach in a spiral motion whilst bearing with the pain of being headbutted by Mahiro, he was reminded of something unpleasant. "Neechan, may I use the toilet for a while?"

"Sure. Now come here and behave yourself, Mahiro." Manami pulled Mahiro away from clinging with Misaki so that he could rush himself to the toilet.

He didn't have any bladder issues at all; just the need of a little privacy. He made it inside the toilet and locked the door making sure that he was alone. There's a dirty secret he had to hide from Takahiro and his family. In front of the vast mirror, he carefully took his shirt rather in a slow movement – so that he would not hurt himself in process. He stared at the exact reflection of himself in the smooth and clear mirror, that would never told any lies to him. While being shirtless, his body was showing a disturbing view that would normally scare whoever that had seen it. What an alarming sight of a horrible fate that wasn't meant to be afflicted on anyone.

Bruises. Cuts. Hickeys. Cigarette burns. Whip lines. All scattered around his tiny form. All of the fruits obtained from the abusive relationship formed between Misaki and his lover, Akihiko whilst secretly dating each other – unknown to most people who knew both of them including Takahiro and his family. Akihiko whom he loved so much more than anyone else was used to treat him very kindly, but now it was in the opposite – one single mistake came with a deadly punishment. Misaki wasn't like a lover to him now but a complete sex slave, as Akihiko was free to do anything to him – either beating him into a total broken mess, raping him all over the time, torturing him cruelly and humiliating him with different sex toys.

"Misaki?" Takahiro knocked the door, his muffled voice echoed throughout toilet that was reflected by the marble walls and floors.

"Oh crap, Nii-chan's here."

Misaki quickly wipe his trickled tears that soaked his cheeks and chin, he was weeping silently in the toilet at the same time watching himself in the mirror in despair. The motive that he was in the toilet in the first place was to check his body in case Mahiro had caused his wounds to reopen, thank goodness it didn't happen. Even though it was currently summer but Misaki wore a long-sleeved shirt with turtleneck so that neither Takahiro nor his family would spot the wounds and love bites at his body. His self-appointed mission, _never let any of them know no matter what happens – even if I'm dying! _Misaki unlocked the door and opened it, revealing Takahiro waiting for him outside.

"Misaaakiiii!" The doting brother Takahiro pulled Misaki into his arms and hugged him tightly, he missed his beloved little brother so much.

"Geez, Nii-chan…" sighed Misaki, he returned the hug and patted his brother at his broad back. As usual he was a little bit annoyed over his brother's protectiveness towards him, but to be in his brother's warm arms made him felt secured and happy.

Manami predicted that Misaki was hungry after travelling in a long distance so she headed to the kitchen and started to prepare lunch. Misaki insisted to lend her a hand for cooking but she turned down the offer, saying that it was okay. He could be tired at the moment so Manami doesn't want to be so hard on him. Later on they had lunch altogether around the table while talking about random things, that included some matters regarding Akihiko as well – which Misaki mostly lied to them about it. Takahiro asked Misaki for the quadrillion times did Akihiko treated him just fine or maybe not, of course Misaki will honestly say he was as usual – though this time it was a bluff.

"You don't need to worry, Nii-chan! Akihiko-san is so kind to me."

"Eh? You called him by his first name? Didn't you called him 'Usagi' before?"

"Err…" Misaki's lips was trembling. He quickly averted his gaze away to his side, "Well… We're getting closer now that he allowed me to call him that!"

…

That night, Misaki was exhausted after spending time and most of his energy playing with Mahiro. He lied on the bed in the extra room available, his head resting on his crossed arms. He thought deeply on how he missed being in peaceful days again like today, it felt like the first time he had been feeling safe and being in high spirits after facing some tragic moments these days. Even though Akihiko had brutally hurted him physically, mentally, emotionally and in addition sexually – but he couldn't help but worry about the former – _is he doing well while I'm gone? _Misaki didn't know what kind of emotions he currently harboured for him – Love? Hate? Anger? Sadness? Sympathy? Or maybe the most accurate – fear?

_TAP TAP._

As Misaki was carried away by his lone thoughts, there was a tapping sound being made at the window in his room. "What was that sound?" he asked himself.

_TAP TAP TAP._

"There it goes again," he raised himself up from the bed, get onto his feet and approached the window. He opened the window out of curiosity – then started to question whether his eyesight had truned bad or something. _It can't be…_

"Heya Misaki," said the intruder who climbed through the window into the room. "Missed me?"

"A-Akihiko… -san…?"

Akihiko yanked Misaki closer by the collar and slapped him hard on the face, so hard that the latter ended up falling on the floor. "Trying to run away from me, eh Misaki? You stupid little shit."

"B-B-but… I did left a note on the table… And it wouldn't take that long, I'll surely come back…" said Misaki in defence of himself, shaking in fear.

"Then you went out – without my permission?" he slapped him again at the opposite cheek, now he sprawled on the floor.

"It's time for punishment. Now stand up and get on the bed."

Misaki had quite a hard time to get on his feet, he tried to stand up by pushing the floor but it was a slow process that Akihiko became irritated out of impatience. He couldn't bear a day without touching Misaki. "What took you so long?! Faster!"

"Wait a sec… I'm still…"

"Let me help you then!"

Akihiko jerked Misaki up and threw him onto the bed, a loud creaking sound formed that luckily didn't woke Takahiro and his family up. Akihiko mounted on the bed and proceeded to take off Misaki's clothes by force, assuming that the brunette had too little power to do it by himself. He stripped Misaki by removing one clothing each time and tossed it on the floor. It was shortly followed by Akihiko's shirt that he had been wearing, revealing his magnificiently build figure. He was too eager to indulge himself in sexual pleasure that he didn't take his pants off, only unzipped its fly and slid it down. Akihiko buried himself deep inside Misaki and bent down to lick his neck, the latter started to groan in pain.

The brunette had his hands clutched on the sheets, "Ah! Aahh! AAAAHHH…!"

"That's the spirit, Misaki. Go ahead and scream. Scream at the top of your lungs so that Takahiro could hear it and find out what we're doing now."

Misaki didn't want that to happen. So he had his hands keeping his mouth shut in order to muffle his screams. Akihiko was amused of this and decided to give him a challenge. "Well let's see about that…"

The silver waned man took something from his pocket – a piercing. "This would make your nipple looks nicer, don't you think?"

That would be really painful for Misaki later. He cowardly pleaded to Akihiko whereas his tears flowing down like rivers, "No, Akihiko-san, please don't do this to me! Please, I'm begging you… No… No… Please don't…"

"You must, Misaki. A little piercing wouldn't be so bad."

"NO…!"

…

"Eeeh?! Are you serious, Usagi?!" exclaimed Takahiro in disbelief.

"Takahiro, I'm telling the truth. Misaki is actually sick before he came here."

Misaki who had lost his consciousness after being raped by Akihiko last night still hadn't opened his eyes, what worried Takahiro and his family more was the fact that it was almost noon now. Akihiko easily fooled them – leading them to think that it was caused by an illness. Akihiko was sitting on the bed as his hand stroking the sleeping Misaki's hair continuously whereas being observed by both Takahiro and Manami. Misaki's sister-in-law was at the verge of breaking down upon the former's stubborness, Takahiro came closer to Misaki and gripped his little brother's hand in both of his hands. Both of them felt really sad and bad for him.

"Misaki… Why do you have to push yourself so far…?"

"I tried to stop him but I can't. He was too stubborn for God's sake." Akihiko elevated Misaki's frontal body from the bed and lifted him onto his back, giving him a piggyback ride. "Takahiro, I'm taking Misaki home."

"But Usagi…"

"Don't worry. I'll keep him _safe_."

"Why am I having a bad feeling about this…?" said Takahiro to himself, as he and Manami both witnessed Akihiko carrying Misaki at his back all the way from the Takahashi household to his red sportscar – then leaving them and probably never came back ever again.

…

In front of his red sportscar which was being parked at an empty space in the parking lot, Akihiko pulled the unconscious Misaki out from the car into his strong arms – one arm at the brunette's back and the other under his knees. How simply Akihiko supported all of Misaki's weight in his arms since that Misaki was not that heavy to begin with, heck he had even lost a lot of weight that he became skinnier. Misaki at the other hand who was soundly sleeping had his head resting on Akihiko's shoulder, he had a peaceful look on his face despite had to brave through lots and lots of moments of mishap. Before carrying him back to the penthouse, Akihiko bent his head down to Misaki's ear and began whispering.

"So you think that you can escape from me? No matter how hard you tried, how far you ran… I'll DEFINITELY catch you."

…

It had been three years yet it was very hard for me to forget everything that happened. I wanted to start a brand new life, but all of my wrongdoings in the past were still haunting me. It left me feeling a deep emotion of guilt, jumping to conclusion that I was indeed the worst person ever existed in the planet and shedding my precious tears even though I was not the kind of person who could easily cry like a baby. There's no way that all of my sins were forgivable. But it seemed that Misaki had forgiven me, to think that his last words before losing his sanity were, _"I love you, Akihiko-san. I love you more than anything else in this world."_

"Do I still deserve somebody with a pure heart like you, Misaki?"

How stupid I was. Asking him that kind of question while changing him from the hospital gown to his casual attire that I had brought from home, even knowing that it will never get answered by him. Why? Because he was currently insane, and that was my fault by 1000 percent. That was another justification on why I was such a fool. Being insane had made him unable to talk, not to mention that he didn't know anything nor understand everything at all. He didn't even know how to put on his clothes or even taking them off by himself. Besides, he wouldn't know how to use the toilet so I had to make him wear an adult diaper. I tied his long hair into a ponytail with a ribbon, though I planned to cut it later.

As I finished changed him, I cupped his face in my hands and stared into his eyes intently. He cluelessly returned the stare towards me. The thought of no longer able to see the old Misaki that I loved so much had made me felt melancholic and nostalgic. My tears fell down and I cried once again, Misaki was the reason why. He was Misaki, the real Misaki – but not the Misaki that I had known for a long time.

I leaned forward and kissed him at the lips – I didn't even know why. I just did.

**Author's Note:**

**First of all, I would to apologize for the late update and also for publishing the sequel in 2015. For the first mistake is because… well… I'd been addicted in playing BL games. *_* And for the second I was sitting in a very very very important exam so I need to push my brain against her limits by learning and memorizing countless formulaes and facts. (So you think that I had author's block and intended to give my brain a break? Well you're wrooong)**

**This fic shows that how I emphatized the mentally ill people and hated how the society treated them. Because I had mental illness as well, I was diagnosed with autism. In my opinion being mentally ill doesn't feel any different or strange, it's just how people around will deal around me. Being autistic does grant me a quite shitty life, but I am grateful because I accepted it as a gift from God.**

**And there are lots of people who have mental illness like I am, but had it worse than me. I felt bad for the insane people who are totally unwanted and nobody loved or cared for them. Last year I went to the city and saw some insane people everywhere. Everyday they ate disgusting things straight from the trash can, and they sleep on the cold and hard street on every night. I felt really bad for them because like us they are humans as well yet everybody treated them like pests and think that they should never exist in the first place. This world is too cruel. D;**

**P.S. Thanks for the support! I felt so much better now :D**


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